Cheese + Wine = Easy Party. For boring old people.

Went to swanky watering hole a while back – you know the kind of place: elegant yet comfortable decor, good food, imported beer and ‘better than the grocery store’ wine list – with the 200% mark-up.

Gateway drugs = good marketing

Seriously I do not get restaurants and bars that overprice their libations. If you can buy a good ‘value’ wine, why not pass that savings onto the customer? You’ll actually sell more that way.

I might have ordered a second glass of wine, tried something different. Had they not been charging me PER GLASS what that wine costs PER fucking BOTTLE. Ahem.

Anyway, my Velvet Devil merlot was pretty drinkable – for an $11 wine.

Damn, I coulda been a photographer. Or professional cheese cutter. No wait, that doesn’t sound right.

Say Cheese

Since this was a late night nosh, I thought the deluxe cheese plate was a good choice. Low and behold, what the gourmets in the kitchen paired was exactly what my friends and I have been doing. Damn I’m good.

So for your next gathering (as opposed to a shindig or hootenanny), dazzle your friends with your culinary skill.

Because nothing says chef like being able to cut up a few hunks of cheese.

  • Manchego: Spanish, milk of the goat. It’s good, easily found and not too expensive.
  • Blue: a little stinky, veiny, all different kinds – and prices.
  • Créme: soft, a lot stinky. Brie is basic, or you can double or triple the creme (and the price).
  • Swiss: maybe a Gruyere or something, your high-priced market grocery may even stock some tasty cave-aged options.
  • Flavor: maybe you do something with an herb or pepper or fruit. We just discovered an ‘espresso rubbed cheese‘ variety when – dun dun dun! – that was the pub’s ‘featured’ selection. Our local grocery carries the BellaVitano in that flavor as well as Merlot, balsamic vinegar and more. Trés yum.

Most of these go better with your favorite red wines, but it’s easy to mix in a few other cheese if you want more white wines. Add in breads, toast or crackers and the odd fruit or two, voila – pretty cheese tray and instant party. Minus the beer belching contests.

Final Snark: Wine + cheese parties are my idea of a good time. I’m old.

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About Ms. Snark

Ms. Snark is me, myself and I - a lazy wanna-be bohemian type who'd like to make money just writing on my computer and ranting about whatever the hell I feel like. Important world-changing shit like TV and movies, wine and cool places I can't afford to go. By all means, click some ads - when I have them - support my slacker lifestyle.