Not much new on the “new” fall schedule: remakes, updates, same old crap.

Looking for something to fill the gap of departed like 24 and LOST, or even just snark worthy like that god awful Bionic Woman remake, this fall I considered adding a few new TV shows to the DVR:

The Event: a replacement for LOST, FlashForward, though still watching Fringe. Passed as I am tired of shows like this getting no support, cancelled.

No Ordinary Family which is close to a Heroes exchange I guess, with a nice cast of familiar faces like Stephen Collins (as an asshole!), Autumn Reeser though I’m not sure I buy Whedon-alum Julie Benz married to Michael Chiklis. I’m shallow, forgive me.

So far I liked that they blew right past the “man of steel, woman of tissue” bullshit sex issue; I know a certain douchebag who should have learned that years ago. The kids are whiny annoying little snots, not much to like there. And for whatever reason, the sidekicks are the more entertaining characters. May not stick with it.

Nikita. It’s a CW product, seemingly my network of choice. After a few episodes, the verdict is.. meh.

Maggie Q looks great in all the outfits but, as a hetero female, it’s not blowing up my skirt with anything new to see here. Shane West does not a convincing agent make, the usually reliable THAT GUY! Xander Berkely has no motivations for his evil, but Melinda Clarke (The O.C.) is awesome, per usual. And in the shocker of non-surprising spoiler.. skip if you have not seen.. new young recruit is a plant. Duh. Formula but fun and yet I agree with Televisionary, it needs something.

Hawaii Five-0 has me watching CBS for the first time in years. I know nothing of the original show save a few things that have transcended pop culture like “Book ’em, Dano” and Don Ho. Whatevs.

Another cop procedural but as I like the cast and Hawaii is pretty and beaches will require Alex O’Loughlin and Daniel Dae Kim (LOST) to get shirtless and wet, I can stick with it. Plus I don’t watch anything else on Mondays, except Castle. So far the formula is standard: crime, investigate the wrong tree, then back to the right one, Alex and Scott “great with the one-liners” Caan bicker like old marrieds, Grace “Boomer! Athena!” Park goes undercover as a skank, good guys win.

Everything else “new” looked like adult dramas, like the Maura Tierrney lawyer thing, which I just don’t do. Hellcats and Shit My Dad Says looked like as, as does anything reality. Nothing has me ready to launch any Save or Renew Our Show campaigns yet.

What did I miss? Should I reconsider, anything epically snark worthy?

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