Hunger Games, Magic Mike, MIB3

Movies and Television

‘Mini’-reviews are easy. Or just perfect for my slacking slackerness.

The Hunger Games. Ain’t read the books, don’t care – though from what I understand more than a few of their many fans are racist idiots.

Two sides of the triangle. Ugh. Lionsgate 2012

Compelling, The Hunger Games is clearly the ‘Welcome to Teenage Thunderdome’ chapter of this saga. It’s about poor kids having to kill each other as part of some archaic, brutal and superficial sacrifice all for patriatism – at TV ratings.

Really that’s it – the rest is just set-up for a sequel, with possibly soul-killing, mind-numbing, ass-chafing goddamned love triangle from fucking hell. As a former Smallville, Charmed, Dawson’s Creek viewer – I dread that part.

Final Snark: I thought Jennifer Lawrence (X-Men: First Class) a capable lead. Ready for the sequels.

 Men in Black 3: Another notch on the ‘Hollywood’s long since run out of new ideas’ belt, MIB3 was an exercise in randomness that was light on the action, light on the funny. Will Smith trying to still be relevant, Tommy Lee Jones glowering and glaring, and script writers trying to give Emma Thompson something, anything to do – along with the boring, old Alien-Villain-tries-to-destroy-Earth storyline. Any guess who wins?

Final Snark: Latest (hopefully last) Men in Black is watchable solely for Josh Brolin’s portrayal of a younger TLJ.

Magic Mike: Along with LA Times original reviewer, I was less than spellbound by Magic Mike‘s tale of a male stripper trying to make ‘good.’ MM was highly entertaining but it didn’t push hard enough at the end, IDK lost it’s edge or nerve – or just never got there.

Matt Bomer, Channing Tatum, Joe Manganiello strut their stuff in Magic Mike. Warner Bros 2012

It starts arguing that working class, blue collar – the ‘vampire’ underbelly of society was in fact, not under anything. Not everyone wears a suit, works in a cube 9-5, Monday-Friday. It’s more than ‘normal’ and society needs to get a clue – or get fucking over it.

The movie starts off not apologizing for that – everyone making their own way with deals – but then has its protagonist hero (Channing Tatum, of the blah G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra), easily and tritely well.. you’ll see.

Maybe if we’d seen 1) more of the other dancers’ lives; we get but a hint of Ken’s (White Collar‘s Matt Bomer) drug dealing schemes and Matthew McConaughey’s greedy club owner’s bullshit or 2) a clue that Mike was weary of The Scene. He’s working, partying, enthusiastically recruiting new blood, Alex Pettfyer. But one hairy eyebrow from The Girl is all it takes.

Side Note: Mike’s got a new truck (without credit?), multiple jobs and has saved some serious cash. But after six years, what with the partying and condo (on the beach!), it’s not enough. Anyway he’s trying a new venture – custom furniture made from crap washed ashore, but needs financing. Uh.. for such an ‘entrepreneur’ to be so clueless? He’s got a portfolio – in a binder?

Hello! Facebook, Flickr, YouTube (Pinterest wasn’t big a year ago when this movie was made); surely some nouveau money hipster types trolling the Interwebs would be all about ‘one-of-a-kind’ artpiece furniture made from recycled materials. He knows how to market “Magic Mike,” but can’t figure out the rest? Eyeroll.

Final Snark: Very compelling dancing by Tatum as Mike; McConaughey has more acting chops that he gets credit; Bomer and True Blood’s Joe Manganiello (loved the horned-rim glasses) were sorta underused, though blissfully underclothed most of the time. The story.. coulda been better.

Final Final Snark: Either I’m bored or this summer is shaping up as better than last, with The Dark Knight Rises and The Bourne Legacy still to come. Surely the hot, pretty shirtlessness isn’t effecting my judgment? Up next: Spider-Man amazes anyone who’s never read a book, seen a movie or TV show. All three of them.

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