Looper was kind of two movies for the price of one.

Weird Sci-Fi flick, Post-Apocalypse style

I say end of the world, but really – just economic collapse that makes for the horror of poor, homeless white people. Other than that, the future of Looper doesn’t look all that modern. In fact aside from virtual cell phones, it’s rather rural retro druggie chic.

Heartland America is a shit hole and that’s where the mob of the future sends guys to get whacked – in the past, so it raises no alarms in the future. With me?

So guys of the Now kill Future old guys, get paid in bars of silver. Because fuck paper. And bank accounts; see Econocalypse.

When they get paid in Gold, they are killing their Future selves or closing their loop. For Platinum they have to go back and cure cancer, kill the cast of Jersey Shore or some truly humanitarian cause.

Anyway, it’s actually a very slow start to set all this up as we meet Joseph Gordon-Levitt (aka The Dark Knight‘s Robin), our young junkie Looper, and Jeff Daniels, his boss. Then Bruce Willis, old Looper, shows up to screw the works and save his Future life with his much younger Asian Wife.

Alas Bruce the Younger (JGL), says ‘screw that’ and is all for killing himself for some gold. So the fight is on, with a sharp detour.

Creepy Kid movie meets Philosophy 101

During the hunt for Bruce the Senior, Young Bruce makes nice with an American-accented Emily Blunt (who’s here to remind us the future has TK mutants who can float quarters) and her creepy child.

First she’s just convenient hiding place or random spot on Willis’ map. Except not.

For you see Bruce Willis is now Arnold Schwarzenegger in The Terminator, with a list of three possible rugrats who grow up to be the Future mob guy – the one who ordered Bruce’s Future self dead – that he wants to kill in the Past so he can live out his Future life. Got it?

It’s all very convoluted, but it finds a way to bring us back to a boob-flashing Piper Perabo, so the writers can claim ‘continuity’ instead of gratuitous. Whatever.

The end brings everyone together for the ‘WWYD’ moment as a thousand college freshman drop Philosophy 1001.

Final Snark: I’ve seen enough creepy kid Supernatural episodes, I know what’d I’d have done.

 

Related articles that maybe one of us could read

• Time travel, Bruce Willis and my dystopian preferences (weescoops.wordpress.com)
• Review: ‘Looper’ is sci-fi done right (mercurynews.com)
• Looper: Bruce Willis Tries to Kill Himself (seattleweekly.com)