Oscar as wrong and predictable as ever.

Movies and Television

So the Academy Award nominations were announced today and ICYMI.. it’s snoresville.

Business as Usual Suspects

WTF does it take for a hella good movie to see some Oscar love?! © 2012 MGM
WTF does it take for a hella good, actually entertaining movie to see some Oscar love?! © 2012 MGM

See what I did there? Handicapping the awards isn’t a challenge, but none make it easy as the ever-so-predictable Motion Picture Academy.

While I don’t consider movies like Dredd to be “great,” I have to admit that Cabin in the Woods was pretty damn good. And like many a good flick, it didn’t have a snowball’s chance in Hell of getting a Best Picture nomination. Which totally sucks.

Batman‘s swan song got no love, nor did the wildly popular – and well reviewed – The Avengers but I think what really frosts my cookies is Skyfall.

If they are going to expand the “Best Picture” menu to nine, why not make it an even 10 with Bond’s best outing in like forever?! Chicken shit bastards. Skyfall was robbed.

Maybe it’s me.

I liked Lincoln, got through Les Miserable and will someday type of some snarky, cryptic review. Or not as they’ll both start and end with Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda. They WCS been better, been more entertaining, been more enjoyable. I wanted to like them more, find them better but instead .. found them wanting. Wanting to be remotely entertaining.

Lincoln was The West Wing circa 1865, all politics and intrigue; less about the Man as it was the Politician. And as good as Tommy Lee Jones and Daniel Day Lewis are in it, even more so was James Spader. Sorry but his rascally comic relief made the movie for me.

As did Anne Hathaway’s deservingly nominated turn in Les Mis, which was one of the only parts that didn’t have me yawning. After an extra-large Coke. ICYMI making the rounds on Facebook – here’s the best Les Mis review I’ve seen.

Will sing for Oscar gold. © 2012 Universal Pictures.
Will sing for Oscar gold. © 2012 Universal Pictures.

Totally unsurprised that Silver Linings Playbook is getting all this attention. Hollywood does so like their obvious dramadies (*cough* Juno *cough*) about us working class people with our issues and functional wackiness. Whatever, Little Miss Sunshine.

One surprise:  Argo didn’t get more love, as TPTB are so oft enamored of their actors-turned-directors.

No it IS me.

Still to see: what’s blowing up my skirt about Django Unchained is the not-nominated Samuel L. Jackson performance, and even though I still hadn’t gotten around to seeing The Hurt Locker, the hype surrounding Zero Dark Thirty has my curiosity peaked.

I’m not interested in Life of Pi, Beasts or Amour. Unless I need some Ambien, this kinda of thing just ain’t for me. Everything else – The Master, The Sessions, all the praised performances in movies no one’s every heard of from actors no one recognizes – that shit can all wait for cable.

Final Snark: I long since gave up on the Oscars being true barometers of talent, creativity, entertainment. But damn they do manage to limbo under that bar of lowered expectations each year.

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