Oscar 2012 recap. You know, of the few I actually dropped the hard earned cash for. Maybe use this as your Netflix cheat sheet.

The Help. I liked it, enjoyed it and am TOTALLY fucking stoked that Octavia Spencer won the statue. As I begged when I saw it last summer.

But also, I was kinda underwhelmed – not by the movie, but the hype – mostly because I was holding out hope that this wasn’t the best of the year. Sadly, kinda was.

Moneyball. Anyone who either likes baseball and/or economics, cold hard business should have liked this movie. Was surprised when a few F&F didn’t enjoy it as much as I did.

Nice to see Brad Pitt get the nod; even though he lost, he showed he could play just a ‘regular’ guy – and kinda make you forget you were watching Brat Pitt.

        Mini-review: Baseball is about making money, just like everything else.

The Descendants. Enjoyable ‘rich white people problem’ dramedy. It’s what I consider typical ‘quirky but totally normal’ Oscar-bait, in way too much of a ‘made for Lifetime TV’ kind of way. Were it not for the presence of George Clooney, the oft-scantily clad teen and the ‘Hawaii’ setting, that’s exactly where this would have ended up.

Mini-review: Families. Drama. Life. Just like everyone else’s that doesn’t get made into a movie. Pass the ice cream.

The Iron Lady. Can’t say I’m stunned Meryl Streep walked away with the Oscar. She WAS this movie, which is why I don’t care for this kind of thing; I don’t usually enjoy watching someone act for 2 hours. The makeup artists earned the shit out of their trophies, but the movie itself wasn’t anything more than Streep’s performance.

Mini-review: Too much time on the older Thatcher, not enough on the Iron Lady – you know the part that was supposed to be interesting.

Why such crappy movies?

Again. Some more.

Read a review of John Carter (not interested) day that made a good point: Oscar voters pick mediocre crap – (i.e. Incredibly Loud & Incredibly Close with a Tomatometer score of 47%) – out of the hope that their ‘good enough’ shit will someday get the nod and they too can bask in awards glory. Hence – though many people assure me Rango sucked – hard – it walked away with the award.

IDK. Hadn’t seen and not sure I care to see much of the rest. Happy for Christopher Plummer, one of those guys I’d have thought have won by now.

And yeah, The Artist will make cable and like so many others, it’ll make my “Oscar-winner that I still haven’t seen but would rather rewatch one of the X-Men franchise” list.

Final Snark: Hollywood keeps making – and rewarding – crappy movies. Or is it just me?

Whatever:

• Many Great Movies Are Being Released On DVD Today (fox2now.com)
• NY Fug.com: Oscar Night Superlatives (gofugyourself.com)