Disclosure: I don’t nothing from comic books. And I saw this in summer, just now hitting publish after busy work and accidentally killing my database, causing lots of cursing and consumption of alcohol in large quantities. Ahem.

Now that that’s out of the way, I liked Captain America. It was fun, interesting, actiony. And the first of a few Avengers I hope, as Joss Whedon (TV’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Serenity) helms the next one.

Today Sucks

Really that’s what is wrong with a lot of movie’s today, TODAY.

Captain America returns us to WWII: a time when heroes were really that, the bad guys were plainly evil, there wasn’t too much hacking, iPhone tech-fu to bore us to tears and damnit, lipstick was fucking red.

So we’re battling a crazy Nazi, have a decent but not over-the-top romance, and some good action instead of staring at 17 different TV screens as a dweeb clackity-types on a keyboard.

I’m over 3D

There I typed it. It was good here, not gimmicky like other 3D but still… I just don’t see how it ADDS to my viewing experience. Sure as shit ain’t worth the extra $5. Don’t get me started on the usury rates charged for popcorn.

Add Water, Instant Hottie

Chris Evans gets an upgrade the Fantastic Four franchise (and boy was he the only thing worth watching in those movies) as Steve Rogers, a really small young man intent on serving his country. Spotted by Stanley Tucci, he impresses the scientist with his inner strength and determination.

After Tommy Lee Jones does his best military tough schtick, and Rogers proves himself worthy, earning his chance to serve and become a superhero. Think the exact opposite of Smallville or Green Lantern as that shit sucked.

TPTB decide to fire up the Hottie Inst-a-matic and with an assist from a young Mr. Howard Stark (of Iron Man fame) our lead goes from zero to hero hotboy in a few painful minutes. And by that I mean the brief amount of time Evans was shirtless. Waste.

The Fighting Showman

After a too long stint as the war machine’s literal PR poster boy, Rogers takes his chance when his BFF is taken hostage. Then it’s full on battle with Team Capt. America vs. Team Red Mask Agent Smith. Some pretty good stuff right to the end, though the ending did go oddly sideways.

Marvel-ous Spoiler. Uh, stay through the credits to the very end.

Final Snark: I’m looking forward to more, even if Chris Evan keeps his shirt on.

Related articles that hopefully relate

• Captain America did better overseas than in the United States! [Captain America] (io9.com)
• Captain America: The First Avenger Film Review (socyberty.com)