Olympus Has Fallen

Movies and Television

Have to agree with the fine snarkers at Television Without Pity, Olympus Has Fallen is definitely one of those ‘anything for a paycheck’ movies.

Free The Brogue! Olympus Has Fallen © 2013 FilmDistrict
Free The Brogue! Olympus Has Fallen © 2013 FilmDistrict

Waste, Waste, Waste

The cast’s careers really have fallen, considering you had the likes of Oscar winners Morgan Freeman and Melissa Leo to class it up.

I can’t decide who was more misused, them or Aaron Eckhart (whom I fucking worship in Thank You For Smoking) as a rather average POTUS with nothing more to be a hostage; or Angela Basset to bring some color and ovaries as an Exec who talks to a speaker phone. Toss up really.

Worse was Butler. It’s not that I minded Gerard Butler‘s turn as a bullet dodging, super fighting, wonder healing John McClane meets Jack Bauer, he can do the action and the drama, even the ‘hero with a brain’ schtick.

It’s just it was too predictable to enjoy and too forced to believe – all of that was made worse by him trying to deliver this cheeky dialogue in an American accent. Sorry THE BROGUE needed to be set free; two throw-away lines could have explained it.

We Don’t Sell Shit to Korea

The North Koreans are the enemy du jour, the sect Hollywood is least afraid of offending. (See also: the rewrites and overdubs in the wretched Red Dawn remake. No on second thought don’t, that movie sucked ass.)

The minute you see them rolling up, you already know the games are afoot. Or at least I did when I noticed that way, way too many in the delegation were quite young for a culture that respects its elders.

The North Koreans in question want to hurt America because you know, they’ve watched Jersey Shore and Dancing with the Weight Losing Stars and what with our equal rights, for like women and gay people too – they think we suck.

Anyhoodle.. terrorism wackiness more absurd than Russians hijacking Air Force One ensues. Heroes rise. Actors yell at speak phones as lots of important-looking men folk sit around. Shit gets blown the hell up. Red shirts die. Computer fu. And no one is the least surprised by anything.

Final Snark: If you’re low on testosterone, high on suspension of disbelief.. make it a bargain matinee.

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