2013 that is. So far the Summer Movies of 2013 have left me wanting. Granted many of these I’m about to rank on came out in May or earlier, but not in the mood for technicalities today.
Yes there are more movies to come but what’s already got me down on Summer 2013 is how obviously shitty everything looks. Not a single comedy looks entertaining, let alone funny; half the action, SciFi, cash cow sequel, adventure, thrillers – After Earth, WWZ, FF6 and on and on – sound like ass; don’t need Rotten Tomatoes to tell me I’m right. A few hopefuls like Superman, Lone Ranger await, but I ain’t placing any bets. Bright side: saves me some money.
On to the snark:
Oblivion. A ‘truth in advertising’ award goes to this one because that’s where Tom Cruise’s career his heading if he keeps up with these lame vanity projects. Oblivion was a barely entertaining, completely derivative attempt at Sci-Fi action that failed on the action, the science, the suspense, the attempts at plot or anything that would require the use of more than a dozen brain cells.
Iron Man 3. Highest praise for this one – justified – is that it’s better than Iron Man 2. Picking up after The Avengers (see below), Tony Stark has some issues going back to being a one-person hero and something of a selfish jerk. There are the obvious bad guys, set up by the formula back stories and more action than’s probably necessary. Still some good moments, good character development and overall, Iron Man 3 is a worthy enough entry for the Summer blockbuster race.
What’s most interesting – and most challenging – is the future of Tony Stark’s Iron Man, or any of the other Avengers now that the game has changed. We know Marvel is gonna keep cashing the checks, but the studios have to make the stories work.
Star Trek: Into Darkness. I get it, the issues other fans have with this update/remake. It’s the slash – unlike the Star Trek reboot that was a true twist and fresh update, Star Trek: Into Darkness feels more like an average remake – thereby betraying some beloved Mythos and Canon. I get the angst – it’s just, for me – the movie was still fresh and surprising and actually entertaining.
While JJ Abrams needs to seriously dial the META, he did manage to balance the old and new, the homage and ‘clever’ twists with what we already knew, expected. Biggest issue I had was the villains’ motivations or lack thereof, the McGuffin-fu and all that dragging it out a little long, with the plot running circles around itself for no reason. I’ll still go see Star Trek 3.
Final Snark: Hollywood needs better editors. Maybe it’s my weak bladder or the jumbo Coke Zero talking, but everything I’ve seen smacked of ‘We’ve got $$ CGI budget and by Zeus, we’re spending it on 10 more minutes of frenetic action that adds nothing to the plot damnit!’ Sometimes, less really is more.