If a blogger blogs in the woods and..
Fuck it, this is how I do it.. for anyone who gives a shit.
Will Blog For Food, Wine, Money, Fame. Mostly because I am bored. And have no life.
- I blog – sometimes – therefore I tweet.
- I blog therefore read other blogs. May even RT some shit.
- I read blogs therefore may comment, much to your dismay.
- I blog therefore will link to other blogs. For the hell of it, make you laugh, or maybe make you look at something silly.
I do this because I think I’m oh so damn funny and want RTs, comments, followers .. and the future millions in ad revenues. No I won’t hold my breath, but feel free.
Comments: WTH? Leave some.
- Die spammers, die! I’ll block your free porn, latest iPad malware, fake Viagra spam.
- Won’t feed the trolls. Want toÂ trash the post, fine. Just don’t rip on the person: me or another commenter. That’s douchey.
- F-bombs away: Curse if you want, I do. If you abuse the privilege, that shit will get edited. Unless it’s funny, then it stays.
- Fish or cut bait. I’m all for the link love to pimp your own blog but have something more to add than “great post” or “shitty post” or it gets blocked.
Lying Liar who Lies: Ms. Snark is not my given name.
I’m snarking and cursing on things off-topic from my usual. Sadly a 400-word tome on “Pantless Hotties of True Blood” probably won’t get me a paying gig, so that post belongs here. There are times to use a pen name or create that separate space to balance the professional vs. personal bullshit. This is one of those times, so I’m doing this under a fake name, as if anyone would give a rodent’s posterior.
My Twitter Policy in 140 Characters (or less)
I tweet. And RT.
I may or not follow you back, depends.
No automation, no spam. Just me, when I give a shit.
Enjoy the snark.
I won’t follow you just because you followed or tweeted me. Need to check out your feed, your crappy Twitter profile: How many you follow vs. follow you, how much you tweet, retweet or just pimp your own crap. Hell even if you are a Twitter douchebag, I still may follow you. Or not.
..No one reads it, well it’s like almost every other blog isn’t it?
Shit. I meant “Ms. Snark.” See? Now you really can’t cash that check!
Send it anyway, let’s see what happens.
Too bad. I had just written you a fucking check made payable to “Mrs. Snark,” too. Try cashing that! If possible, capture the attempt (preferably on a cell phone) for YouTube.
This post rocks it. Where to start? How about the category? “Whatever the Hell I Feel Like.” Hells yeah!
We have a lot in common. I think I’m damn funny, too. And I want those millions for sitting on my ass, locked in a dark room, having no human contact and just being my pithy self all over a keyboard. Millions in ad revenues. Mmmmmm!
I really enjoy classic throwback snarks. I love it when you bring it. You’re a true game changer.
Money, did someone say money? All’s I need is enough to pay the cable bill, keep me in wine and Apple porn.
I could really do this all day, I love the sound of my own typing. I could strike up conversations, write about any shit that crosses my mind.. which sadly is mostly just TV, my love of wine, need of money for new Apple toys.
We gots to work on that.. getting paid for this. Because no one else on the Internets is bloggy. And funny. And pithy. And lazy. .. Oh fuck. Catcha at your place later.